World On Hold: Global Calendar Reset!

Speaking in voluntary isolation from his South London home, LJC declares his traditional April 1st Fools Day prank cancelled, and rescheduled to a future date, tentatively, August 1st, 2020.

Professor Jazz

I know that many look forward to the “Poisson d’Avril”, a traditional event here at LJC, and this will cause some disappointment. We all remember the “Elvis Sings Thelonious Monk” unissued Blue Note spoof that went viral following a pingback on Facebook. And the momentous discovery of unissued  Elvis Sun Ra Tapes. However, at this moment in time, it seems jokes are no laughing matter.

Poissson d’Avril is now Poisson d’Aout. By August, the world will either have adapted to the new normal, formerly known as the abnormal, or melted-down completely. Either way, the old normal is no longer in stock, and delivery times for even the abnormal may be longer than usual“.

Breaking News

In an unexpected turn of events elsewhere, in the wake of spread of the CoronaVirus Global Pandemic, the travel ban to Lapland has forced the temporary closure  of Santa’s Toy Factory, affecting seasonal sleigh-ride and toy delivery plans for good children. Assuming there are still any “good children” left to deliver to.

After testing positive for the coronavirus, Lapland resident Santa Claus and his team of  elves have gone into voluntary self-isolation for twelve weeks. To ensure the Toy Distribution Centre will be fully restocked to meet the annual  festive deadline, the Government has now  decided officially that Christmas 2020 will now be moved back to Easter 2021, provisionally, to April 1st.

Global Calendar Reset

As a result of the postponement of Christmas, it has been decided to  declare a Global Calendar Reset.  Spring will commence in what was previously Summer. Summer will be moved back to what was previously Christmas, and with Winter deferred, Summer Time will commence in The Fall, and the season officially renamed  Formerly Known As Autumn, as by then all leaves will have already fallen.

These changes, however, will apply only to countries in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere, Christmas already falls in the peak of Summer, as Australians celebrate the festive day on the beach. As a result of resetting the Northern Hemisphere calendar, the two hemispheres will now operate for the first time in perfect seasonal synchronicity.

As regards the moving of Christmas, to avoid any confusion with the old calendar date and avoid any possible offence to any minority group, or indeed the majority group, it has been decided to rename Christmas simply as 12/25. Though of course it will now be held on 4/1. (MM/DD)

LJC

Voluntary Isolation Unit, London, England

For the benefit of anyone staying home, with little to amuse themselves, here is the complete collection of previous year’s April 1 spoofs:

Previous year’s April 1st posts:

2019 Government to announce ban on vinyl

2018 The Ultimate Audio Upgrade

2017 Blue Note collector’s “Authentic Experience” range

2016 Elvis joins Sun Ra

2015 3D Printing Blue Notes

2014 Elvis sings Thelonious Monk

2013: Ebay: Mobley Misprint!

2012: An unexpected thrift store find

Stay Safe. Jazz will overcome.

Breaking News!

In an even more unexpected turn of events, two gardeners in Suffolk have just tested positive for Dutch Elm Disease. People are advised to stay home, and avoid trees. Not close to trees?  Don’t forget, trees have branches everwhere.

If you have any experiences the share, now could be a good time to break radio silence, and make a post, no-one is in judgement, we need to stand together. How are you coping?

UPDATE: Larry The Plastylite Guy shares an April Fool from the good old days, 1978, well, they not good, but certainly not bad. Reading Times invents a British Airways Concorde making an emergency landing at local airport, thousands turn up to see its planned  take off the next day…

The best April Fool’s are when you are not sure whether it’s true or not, and fall for it. Great, AND a British connection, even better. Thanks Larry. I had the pleasure of flying Concorde just the once. It was every bit as special as it looks.

LJC

5 thoughts on “World On Hold: Global Calendar Reset!

  1. We have family members who contracted Covid-19. Your levity is a welcome distraction. Thanks LJC Fred Borg Victoria ,Canada

  2. For those who have lost track today, today is Blursday the 14th of Maprilay!!
    When this is all over, we are throwing the biggest St. Patrick’s Easter de Mayo of July Party Anyone’s ever seen.
    Keep the vinyl spinning!! 😉

  3. Like Jim, I’m working from my vinyl room. The music is certainly better than the office – McCoy Tyner on at the moment.

  4. I’ve been working from my vinyl room for the past two weeks, and keeping a daily playlist. Hoping to ride this out. Stay safe, all. And, LJC – thanks for the funnies. Love them!

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